Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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