i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
