For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
