I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
