based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
