Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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