Your face is a jimmy john
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
