i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
