so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize