There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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