I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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