She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
