If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
