Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
