the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
