Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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