Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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