He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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