can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
