i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
