i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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