Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
