I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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