Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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