My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
