if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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