So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
