$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
