About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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