All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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