i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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