If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize