Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
