well I can't set my house on fire every night
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
