how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
