hotel room ftw
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
