is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
