and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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