She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
