Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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