i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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