...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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