What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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