i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
