Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
