Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
