Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
