The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
