I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Did I show you my penis last night?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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