nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
