I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
