talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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