Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
