My nipple is on Facebook.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
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