Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
