Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
