Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
