i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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