no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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