I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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