I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
