Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
