I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
