Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
