is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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