I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
