The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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